Day 4 - Psalm 4 - Dealt Wonderfully

I return to the Psalms tonight. Interestingly, Psalm 4, where I left off is a Psalm sung in the evening to the God who can be trusted. I read this  tonight.

One verse stood out to me - verse 3. Needing to understand the context of verse 3, I go back to verse 2 which reveals a cry of frustration from David about those who oppose him.  

Then....

.....this little word "Selah" appears. We saw it used in Psalm 3. Translated it means

 "Pause, Crescendo or Musical Interlude".

It's a break in the flow of thought. The song now turns. Something in the "selah" happened and the psalmist changes his tune :-).

Verse 3. "But know that the Lord has set apart the godly man for Himself;

The Lord hears when I call to Him."

Those words "set apart" can be replaced with the words, "dealt wonderfully with". So it could read...

"But know that the Lord has dealt wonderfully with the godly man;

The Lord hears when I call to Him."

Dealt wonderfully. It's necessary to be reminded that the Lord HAS dealt wonderfully with us. With me. I ashamedly forget that truth too quickly and this again confirms why I need to be in His word. My brain leaks :-) Truth and promises slip out so easily. I then am prone to worry or complain or slip into subtle depression. My perspective changes. My joy fades.

We often wonder or can lose sight of God's goodness when real challenges invade our lives. But.....

......If I am to be truthful, it's more often that I simply lose sight of what a gift this life is and not one to be wasted. I allow myself to sink into boredom because I have pulled back from the purpose and the mystery and the wonder of everyday. I often miss it because I don't exert myself into the joy of the moments and I allow myself to get wrapped in the oh-so-mundane. I get lazy in living the "carpe diem" life. And then I forget that God HAS dealt me a wonderful set of cards and I am in sin if I waste them.

So much I have been blessed with. I've had my discouragements and my troubles. I've walked in disappointment and fear but all in all God HAS dealt wonderfully with me.

I sit today in a lovely home which I have often complained about cleaning. How many people in the world would love to have a solid roof over their heads.

I don't know hunger and then I complain about the number I see on the scale but it is my own choice. I can do something about it and have often failed to act. How many pray for their daily bread with no certainty of where it will come from.

I miss my husband while he is away working but I'm blessed with him and these 3 crazy kids are a reminder of the love we share. How many would long to have even one more day with a loved one who has been taken far too early.

I have gifts and talents and strength to contribute to the world around me. I have often belittled them and held back. I have robbed myself of the joy of being present in this life around me.

When you really DO stop to count your blessings, you can't help but say in the words of the Psalmist, "The Lord HAS dealt wonderfully with me".

I've seen many walk a tough road but what's amazing is that most of the time you don't see that in their smile. They welcome the everyday and courageously embrace it all. 

Maybe they cling to some of these truths....

Verse 4 tell us to... 

"Tremble"

(with fear or anger; meaning feel what you feel)

"BUT, do not sin;"

(don't let life turn your heart hard or mean)

"Meditate"

(be still, find the center of your life, worship Him, allow the noises to silent)

"in your heart upon your bed"

(your place to find rest, in your heart, not venting to the world)

"be still"

(again, still yourself, your life does not just belong to everyone and everything around you)

THEN...

"Offer the sacrifices of righteousness;"

(give to God, to those you love, to your world the good within you)

"And trust in the Lord"

(it's all His then. Trust knowing He is moving and working in your life for your good and His purposes)

Today, I confess my tendency to under appreciate my life. To waste time. To not shoot for the stars and to settle in the mediocrity. Life is a gift. Even the word "life" seems so long or vague so to help me, I choose to see each DAY, each MOMENT as a gift. I so fail to do that. And in our days and moments are times of play, laughter, rest, love, work, service, and dreams.

I just read a quote from Annie Dillard...

"How we spend our days, of course, is how we spend our lives."

Living in the truth that God has dealt wonderfully with me brings an entrustment value to my days. He has entrusted me with my life.

May I live it well.

Day 3 - Psalm 3 - Songs of Courage

Psalm 3 is a song of the heart.

On the right side of the Psalm, there is the word, Selah which may mean "pause, crescendo or musical interlude." It is no wonder we see musical references as Psalm 3 was written by David who was not only a shepherd, giant slayer, king but also musician.

It is the song of his heart that day.

He sings to the Lord a song about his troubles. In prayer, he sings and lifts his voice to heaven. He cries out about his enemies and those who are against him. The context of this psalm tells us he is in hiding and in fear for his life.

"Many", he says, "are rising against him" and they mock him and say,  "There is no deliverance for him in God." Imagine the loneliness and angst of his soul as his enemies want to not only overtake him but convince him that even his very God is not with him.

David's tone then changes. The lyrics of his soul turn to the following words that reflect a new conviction of his heart.....

"But Thou, O Lord, art a shield about me

(a promise of protection)

My glory, and the One who lifts my head.

(a promise of hope)

I was crying to the Lord with my voice and He answered from His holy mountain.

(a promise of relationship, intimacy)

I lay down and slept

(rest is the result).

I awoke for the Lord sustains me.

(a promise of strength)

I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me round about."

(courage is the result)

He then concludes by crying out again for deliverance, claiming God's faithfulness in the past and that He is not only able, but willing to save him.

In the process and discipline of crying to the Lord, David's heart turns from despair and feeling overwhelmed to the assurance of who is his God. When we cry to the Lord. When we worship Him and lift Him up above our troubles, we claim His promises and receive His gifts. He is ready to answer us.

We see that He is God and we do not need to fear.

Enemies of our lives and souls are all around us. There is much what wants to bring us down, discourage us. Life and it's circumstances can often try and take us out. God's promises are clear that He is with us.


But what happens when it hits very close to home? This psalm was written when David was running and hiding and fearing Absalom, his own son.


Absalom desired to removed his father, King David from his throne. Absalom began to build an army and began to "turn the hearts of the people of Israel against David". Absalom wanted to be king. This story also comes after David's moral fall with Bathsheba. The once brave King David who united the nation of Israel and to whom God promised peace and protection from his enemies now is running for his life against his son.

Yet, in his relationship with God, he calls out. And God hears. And God responds and protects David. It doesn't matter what the past is, it doesn't matter how far we fall away from the person we desire to be, God is simply a song of praise away.

He is ready to...
hear,
protect,
encourage,
instill hope,
give rest
and put us back on our feet.

He is not like man. He is faithful in the midst of our faithlessness.

So when we are ready to cower and raise the white flag, lift up a song of praise and see what happens.

Day 2 - Psalm 2 - The Divine and the Intimate

He who sits in the heavens... laughs.

Psalm 2 reminds us that God is sovereign. He is Lord. He is greater than what we see. Kings vainly try and go to war against God and His Son. The nations falsely believe in their power that they can overtake the Lord.

I do not know if this passage is speaking of earthly nations against the nation of Israel. The nation of Israel surely had it's human enemies and often was at war with them during the writing of the Psalms. Or it may be speaking of the spiritual battle. How evil desires to dethrone the Lord so that they may be king and not under the authority or lordship of God. I will need to check that out :-)

The psalmist, of whom we do not know their name, reminds us that God is God. He is over all. And those who seek to war against Him will be "broken with a rod of iron," and "shattered like earthenware".

At the end there is a calling to return to worship God.

"Worship the Son....How blessed are all who take refuge in Him."

When I was a child, I was brought up in the reverence of the Lord. I sat in cathedrals and sanctuaries for weekly mass. It was beautiful and amazingly ornate. The pews were hard and there were kneel-ers to pray on. There was no creative fun children's program. The priests came into the mass in a procession. Serious. Altar boys would hold banners and objects that their robes told us we were not to touch. There was an altar and beautiful objects of gold. It was raised above us and we did not go up there. There was a line between the seemingly holy and the ordinary.

My earliest memories of church was of me playing on the kneelers untying my father's shoes. I have one memory of me walking to the parking lot with my mom and asking her if I had been good in church. :-). 

St. Anne's Church, Barrington, Illinois, where I grew up....

My next memories of God include learning my prayers in parochial school with my friends. I remember receiving my first rosary and how beautiful it was. I remember my white communion dress and veil and how special that ceremony was. I remember the nuns of my early years in school, like Sister Margaret who was so warm and loving. My principal Sister Lorraine was a peaceful and kind woman.

I remember as a child learning that God was "other"...in a good way. He was not like man. He was to be respected. You did not run in church. You sat and listened. You stood and you knelt. But I also remember I did not fear Him. He didn't seem scary. He seemed "other". Maybe that was because of the kindness of the priests and the nuns I saw each day. Well, at first Father Thane seemed a little strange. He was very old and would speak over you when you said your recitations :-) But as you saw him, he was very kind as well.


As I got older in school, I also saw the stricter side of the clergy but in all honesty, I was fortunate to have good people of the clergy around me as a kid.

I remember receiving palms on Palm Sunday. We did not play with them. I remember helping my friend Genie Godula to change out the candles in the sanctuary and being able to get a little closer to the "holy things".

Later, in my junior high years while I was still in parochial school we as a family stopped attending mass and began to check out this new kind of church that met in a little theater. The theater's name was Willow Creek. The church's name was Willow Creek as well (convenient, huh?)  I sat at 12 years old and listened to pop music and saw stories on the movie screen and heard a young guy in jeans speak about God. I don't remember much about what was said, only the experience of it. I liked it. We went our first time and then didn't go to any church for a while.

One Sunday morning my mom grabbed me and took just me to that little theater. I remember after service my mom standing with some of our family friends and my mom was crying. I didn't know why, but I do know that is where we continued to go to church each week.

A year later I went to Willow Creek's summer camp with about 90 junior highers.

I only knew the daughter of a family friend but it was OK as I was a pretty social little girl. That week, I opened my new Bible for one of the first times. We didn't learn to read the Bible for ourselves in mass as the priests brought us the teaching. That week at summer camp I learned about Jesus in a new way. He who came to die (I did know that) also came to break down the walls between the holiness of God and sinful man. It was because of Jesus we could pray to the Father. It was because Jesus' sacrifice that we could also not only respect God but be friends with God.

That week  I "received Jesus in my heart". It was a day when the desire to know and learn about God took off in my young life. God was even more to me. Touchable. I was able to pray to Him, conversationally. I read the Bible for myself. I loved highlighting verses in my Bible and knowing more for myself what it said. God whom I knew and followed my entire life became close.

But He still remained "other". Meaning, I knew He was God. I still was in parochial school but everything we were now doing and learning from the priests and nuns seemed so much nearer, personally received. I knew the passages they were reading. I knew the stories myself. I felt knowledgeable and closer to the things of faith and God seemed very near.

After I graduated in 8th grade from my parochial school, I wasn't a part anymore of my childhood liturgical church. We have been a part of more contemporary communities of faith. My church services have involved everything from drama to videos to lighting to full music bands. I love the community of friends I have made over a lifetime, serving and learning in His Word together. We have laughed and done life together. I don't think I would have known or come to know my Savior and have had this journey of faith without these places.

Willow Creek Community Church, what I call my "home church" from when I was 12 until I moved away.....

But even to this day, I still love the cathedrals and the quiet places of faith. I do like walking into sanctuaries and sensing the "other-ness" of God. It reminds me that He is God and I am not. I am still very thankful for being rooted in truth of God's holiness. It is because of that truth of His holiness I stand even more amazed that God is also near and intimate and gracious revealed through the Person of Jesus. That the God of universe desires to know me and that I can talk to Him is incredible.

This reading of Psalm 2 has brought me back to my first memories of things holy. It spoke to me that God is still God and He will not be mocked. He "laughs" at wickedness who believes they will win war against Him. This Psalm reminds us that do not mistake His tenderness for weakness. For He is still God over all and He is a God of justice. I think that's why that line, "How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!" is so amazing. The King of Kings has made a way to His side, to His heart. It's through Jesus, who came near to show us the Father. It is His deepest desire that we would be in relationship with Him. He paid an amazing cost, the tortuous sacrifice of Jesus to tell us that.

He is holy. He is near. He is God. He is Father.

"How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!"

Day 1 - Psalm 1 - Firmly Planted

I am awake at 5:30 a.m. this morning. The kids are sound asleep. Matt is away and I am awake. I do not wake at 5:30 a.m.

Is it the earlier sunrises as summer approaches?

Is it that my mind often does not rest because of the hundreds of thoughts going through it?

Is it that sleep has never been as deep since my kids were born and since Matt is away?

 

Or is it because God is waiting for me and I know it :-)

I often wake each morning with an inital dread. The first few hours of the day are always very busy and full getting 3 kids to school, dressed, fed, packed and hopefully with a good attitude. I don't like the rush of these early hours. I know the time of quiet is coming after I drop them off and I dive into my day. But it usually feels like I have run a marathon by 8:45 a.m.

 

Today was different. I wanted to place my feet on the ground first. Figuratively as well as literally :-). I wanted to be like that tree firmly planted I read about yesterday. I am reading and writing about it again today. I wanted to enjoy the morning and not see my day in only the duties I had to accomplish. I woke up wanting more. To anticipate the richness of adventure and sweetness and depth of a new day.

"But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in His law he meditates day and night and he will be like a tree firmly planted by

streams of water..." Psalm 1:3a

(I inserted the following paragraph after I had wrote for a while. I took out what I initially wrote for here is where my time in quiet brought me.)

I wanted to enjoy this time in the morning with my kids before they go to their day. Who am I to say their day isn't as full and busy in their little hearts as mine is to me? They need to have their feet firmly planted as well as they go into their day.

Oh, how selfish I have been!!

How narrowly I have seen the daily tasks of our family life in how it effects only me!

Forgive me Lord.

Forgive me for how I have resented the busyness and perceived stress and have failed to love and bend down to their level and look them in the eye.

How I have failed to communicate how precious they are to me in my smile and care and peace of spirit.

How they have too often felt the rush and impatience of a woman whose feet have not been firmly planted!

Didn't know You were going there this morning God.

 

Thank You for meeting me here! Thank You for showing me how I was missing it. Thank You for opening my eyes to the truth of my days and why they were so much less than I wanted.

(There are words that I wrote much earlier than the above insert. But God was not going to let me go just to the head this morning. He wrapped this writing around  and brought me to Him and what He wanted to say. I am stopping here for now. I need to drink in what I just realized. What He just showed me. I may or may not be back later today :-) God, thank You for not letting this just be a blog. Thank You for not letting me get off writing only in my head. Thank You for not letting me study Your word in order to ONLY give it away, but You seized ME by it. Let my life then just flow over. Let me live for and from You. I'm amazed. I cannot receive anymore. I am stopping for now :-)

At The Starting Line

Today I set out on something new.

Don't know where it will lead.

Don't know where I'll be when it ends.

But I must begin.

I am awake today with a thirst. A new thirst. A welcomed thirst.

I just returned from a weekend which was the culmination of more than 8 months of focused energy and effort. The leadership team of our women's ministries at our church dreamt big, planned intently, prayed for, sweated, cried and labored over our women's retreat, which concluded yesterday. To say it was a labor of love is an understatement. One of love of course. But of labor as well. :-)

We wanted to create a weekend where we would discover, encounter and experience the amazing love of God in a new way. We believed that we often live in the shallow end of the pool of real understanding of

"how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ..." Ephesians 3:18.

 

 

We dreamt of putting on our scuba gear and heading for deep waters. To the depths of knowledge and experience that would

melt stubborn hearts,

repair friendships,

heal unspoken regrets,

break patterns of sin,

comfort the brokenhearted,

befriend the lonely,

and redeem unseemingly unredeemable pasts.

And God showed up.

He showed up in worship and community, study of His Word and rest, laughter and alot of great food!

When I woke up this morning, I realized I had just been a part of the work of the Holy Spirit. We had to fight through it, struggle, roll up our sleeves and surrender ourselves to it,  but we received the gift of His very Presence. I'm still drinking it all in but this is where it has left me this day.

Because the demands and the dreams where SO big, we HAD to put our noses in His Word and our knees on the floor in prayer. Because the stakes were SO high, nothing less than our full attention and dependency on Him would do. Knowing one of my roles would be speaking to almost 100 ladies about God and His love for them, I devoured the Scriptures. I had to have greater understanding so I could speak accurately of our great God. We were SO aware of where our strength stopped and how much we were dependent on Him.

And He showed up.

So this morning when I woke up, I didn't have any message to bring. I didn't have people desiring counsel and prayer. I didn't have a ministry team of which I was a part of that needed me to have a spirit of unity and love at all times. This morning seemed like rest from the battlefield.  However, my thirst and longing for His Word was reawakened this past weekend in a way like never before. I didn't have those retreat responsibilities anymore, but I DID have 3 precious children to whom I was entrusted with. I DID have a wonderful husband who has devoted his life to love and support me. I DID have a community and city of which I was a citizen of to whom I desire to reflect His love. I did have friends to encourage and support. So the fight was not over and I could no longer settle for casual time in the Scriptures. No longer could I rest on the memory of what I read yesterday. I wanted to live like He is calling me to live and I want to stand in the confidence of His truth not just for weekends like this past one but in my everyday. I want to be strengthened and encouraged and assured like I was this past weekend and that ONLY happened because of His word being liberally read, studied, poured over and poured out by the Lover of my soul.

And I want more.

If I am completely transparent, which I make decision to be, I had been reading my Bible but not as passionately as I needed to be. Life had me spinning which should have drawn me MORE into His word and not less. Looking back, I see how I have robbed myself of peace, confidence and love. Preparing for the retreat these past several months took me deeper into His word than before and I am thirsty for more. So much more. And it's because I want more of Him.

This morning, I sat on my bedroom floor while the kids were still sleeping and I grabbed my Bble. I had no message to prepare. No devotion to give. And I didn't know where I wanted to begin. So I turned to the book of Psalms and decided I would read a Psalm daily. I started at the very beginning (Psalm 1) and in the words of Maria Von Trapp from Sound of Music, it was "a very good place to start" :-). I read about the man (or woman) who "delights in the law of the Lord. And in His Law, he meditates day and night. " Here's the part that marked me this morning....

"And he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water..."

I'm stopping my thoughts on Psalm 1 for now because my next post with be my full look at that passage. But I stopped at those words....firmly planted. Unbeknownst to me, that is what my heart, my mind, my LIFE has been craving. Being Firmly Planted. When I read those words, it was then I decided to set out on an even more focused, intentional adventure  of Scripture beginning in Psalms. Because of my great proneness to distractability, I created a plan that would be a daily read through the Psalms. 150 Psalms. 150 Days. 150 Days of Praise, I call it. Blogging would be my accountability. Each day I will read a Psalm, 1-150 then I will listen, write and receive from my Savior.

It will be an adventure for the Psalms are not all "hallelujahs" and "amens". They are raw, honest outcries of the writer's heart. They question. They twist and turn through doubt and trust, anger and joy, despair and worship. They reflect you and me.

They were put there for our benefit. God, who is so acquainted with all our ways, gave us Psalms to show us a path to honest prayer and worship from ordinary people like you and me. It was given so that we may learn how to seek Him with our whole heart and to show us what He does with authentic prayers and uninhibited worship.

That's my plan for the next 5 months. 150 Days of Praise.

So looking forward to the journey. Feel free to come along :-)